Alternative Relationships

(Warning: This was a suggested topic... Not my idea... But you wanted it, so here it is... A discussion of the topic in general and my opinion on it...)


Polygamy is defined as "the practice or condition of having more than one spouse"...


Polygamy does not just refer to the practice of a man having multiple wives (polygyny), it can also refer to a woman having multiple husbands (polyandry), or "family units" containing several couples who live together and as a group raise children and take care of properties (group marriage). Although, polygyny is the most common form of polygamy.

Instances of polygamy are found throughout Africa, Middle East and East Asia (with smaller practicing groups found all over the world). There is evidence of such relationships dating back to biblical times, and before... Polygamy can even be found within different religious sects; there are documented case within Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islamic and Mormon faiths.

"A popular joke with Mark Twain has Twain asked to cite a Scripture reference that forbids polygamy, and he responds with, 'No man can serve two masters.' "

Is it feasible in today's society for a polygamist relationship to work? Depends... Would it be easy? Definetly not...

I am not going to speak from a religious perspective- I am just going to speak about the idea in general- assuming those ADULTS in this "alternative relationship" are there willingly. The idea of "sister wives" is intriguing... Someone to help with housework; someone to help raise and care for children. Perhaps an extra income to the household (depending upon the faith that is being practiced)... But along with the good, comes the bad... Loss of privacy... A loss of a sense of self... Jealousy...

It would be awesome to have someone to help with all the daily stuff that makes a home run semi-smoothly... Laundry, dishes, dusting, vaccuuming, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping etc etc etc... But wouldn't a housekeeper be just as easy? Yeah- you would have to pay them, but cost-wise it would be roughly the same to clothe and feed another mouth in the family...

Someone to help raise the children... Now granted- multiple wives would mean extra children... But you would have reinforcements to help raise, teach and discipline them. But you'd also have at least twice the number of children, twice the noise level, twice the runny noses to clean, twice the mess (thus requiring the extra person to help clean up), twice the kid 'tude... Varying adult attitudes in regards to how a child should be raised...

Extra income~ a bonus, but considering the extra mouths to feed- it's a neccessity...

Loss of privacy... Whether the idea of everyone living in a single house or a "compound"~ you are bound to lose some privacy. Your private affairs are no longer private. One would be constantly worried what was being said in "private" when you weren't there. If confidences had been broken...

A loss of a sense of self. You are no longer your own person. You are part of a "unit". A bad thing- no not necessairily... But completely different from a single, monogamous relationship. In a single, monogamous relationship, there is still a me, still a you and a we. I would imagine that being in a relationship with multiple spouses would take away some of that "me" feeling. There would need to be so much more time devoted to the "family unit" that individual time and concern may cease to exist.

Jealousy... Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... I know many women in polygamist relationships say there is no jealousy- but I don't believe that for a heartbeat... Seeing your "husband" intimately touch another woman, even if just to brush her cheek hello- would send any rational woman through the roof with jealousy. To have to intimately share your spouse with another... Couldn't do it... Would drive me literally insane...

So~ could I participate in a polygamist relationship..? No. I must admit I am entirely too selfish to do so... I would have to have things done my way... And I don't like to share... Wouldn't want to share my house, my chores, nor my husband; and least of all I don't want to share me with anyone other than who I so choose...

Sorry to disappoint those of you with fanciful ideas otherwise... I just can't... I won't...