Sandman

Sleep is defined as a suspension of consciousness... often when the body rests, and repairs itself...

To sleep, bed down, bunk, catch a wink, catch forty winks, catnap, conk out, cop some z’s, crash, doze, dream, drop off, drowse, fall asleep, fall out, flop, hibernate, hit the hay, hit the sack, languish, nap, nod, nod off, oversleep, relax, repose, rest, retire, sack out, saw wood, slumber, snooze, snore, take a nap, turn in, yawn, zonk out, zzz... Whatever one calls it~ it is a basic requirement in life... To allow your mind to rest, your body to repair... You get the picture...

A basic requirement that seems to elude me when I truly need it the most... Just a few hours of slumber to perhaps ease the paroxysm in my spine...

Don't get me wrong~ it's not that I don't ever sleep... Just the nights when my mind is racing a million miles an hour or my body hurts, that the dear Sandman dances about just out of my grasp...

A sick and twisted man he must be... He dances and sways to an enchanting beat that is too quick and crude to lull my senses... My attention he does keep...

Senses seemed heightened... Sounds are loud and intrusive... Even my own heartbeat rings loud in my ears... Every single move and breath is amplified...

Heated blades seem to rip through my spine... Through my hip... Down my leg... And back again... A never ending circuit... My muscles feel as if they have been filleted and seared over hot white coals~ and they recoil in protest... Any movement doubles the pain... Pure agony, if you will... Even the necessary act of breathing causes horrible ripping sensations up and down my nerves... I try to quit breathing~ which helps momentairily, until I sputter for air~ and my nightmare continues... In vain... Continuity... Hell...

I take a chance to look at the clock, careful to move slowly~ three and a half hours since I laid down... Since my tour through the depths of hell began... I am exhausted... Tears well in my eyes, and slowly cascade down my cheeks... Where is the dear, evil Sandman when you most need him to visit? Despite my best efforts, a sob breaks me... Pain shoots through my body with a vengeance... I quit trying to fight through it... I can't... It isn't working anyways... I give into the misery that has beset me...

Several sobs rack my body~ followed swiftly by cramping muscles and nerve endings screaming in protest... My eyes close briefly... And there he is... Finally... The dear Sandman... Exhaustion has come to claim me... For a few hours anyways...